July, 2008

When we got to the Studio City Farmer’s Market yesterday, I was feeling pretty good. T-Ko and I had our double-shots on ice in hand, Baby-Ko was in great spirits and I was feeling sort of cute ( for not having taken a shower), dressed in a long maxi dress and scarf in my hair. Walking through the stalls, bumping into all the cute LA Mommies & Daddies and their little Chloe’s and Max’s as we search for asparagus under 3 bucks, I felt in my element. As I stood at the gate of the pony rides with Baby-Ko, pointing out that “the horse says ‘nayyy!’,” a Tall Daddy, taking ...Read More
Lately, I have been thinking about going back to work. But with a baby, there are so many factors to consider. I can’t “just write” because, well, I can’t ” just get paid.”  I can’t go back to working in reality television because I worked 12 to 18 hours a day.  And I can’t get a “real job” in finance or something like that because, well, I studied Acting in college.  I’m not screwed, I just need the RIGHT job (that gets me out of my sweats and tank tops and into normal people clothes again) to come along.  Well, I got this email today and while it’s greatly different from ...Read More
I used to be a planner. Organized. On top of it. Type-A. Of course, I wasn’t PERFECT, but in general I felt put together. Well today, I felt like the DISHEVELED FACTOR was at an all time high and it made me yearn for the old J-Ko… The J-Ko that didn’t feel like a complete MESS…. I finally got in the shower at 2:30pm. And I got out at 2:32pm. I officially lost all my contacts on my cell phone.  Apparently no one “can hear me now.” Target wouldn’t take my return. Apparently I’ve already maxxed out my return without a receipt quota.  I got poop on my finger trying to change Baby-Ko’s diaper amidst a temper ...Read More
4 days down. 26 more to go.  Yesterday for lunch I had a bowl of soup and four, I repeat FOUR (low sodium) wheat thins. Today for lunch I had a whole wheat english muffin with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, and 1 TEASPOON of honey. For a snack, I got an apple and swift kick in the vag.  I think I’ve been punked. Look, I promise not to only write about this diet for the next twenty-six-starvation-filled-days. But tonight, as I checked the assigned menu once, then twice, then went BACK to the original email of instructions to see if there was a dessert or even a piece of fucking fruit that ...Read More
8:45am. My phone rings. It’s DH. I try to sound like I’m not sleeping, but I am. Baby-Ko was UP for the day at 5am and went down for an early morning  nap. Subsequently, mommy went down for a nap then too.  DH tells me that he has some news he thinks I may want to hear….  MICHAEL BUBLE IS NOW SINGLE.   “Seriously?” I say. “Yes, just heard it. Thought you may get a kick out of that. Sorry I woke you.” “No. That’s okay. This is so exciting.” “I figured you could blog about it.” “Oh, I will. And I’ll also have to figure out what to do about T-Ko,” I joke… Kind of. ...Read More
It’s pretty depressing when the best and most flattering dress in your closet is a MATERNITY one (but just for the record, it is a Dianne Von Furstenberg and it’s fucking gorgeous.). I wore it all last summer when we had an event one weekend after the next and I was ten thousand months pregnant. But now, Mommy is not preggers and is in need of some major dress action…. We have a black tie wedding next weekend and a bar mitzvah the weekend after that, and then in October (yes, it’s still 3 months away but still), we are going back to Maui for my brother in law’s wedding ...Read More
I’m a huge sucker for those emails that ask you all sorts of (tame) personal questions like “what’s your favorite color,” “Favorite time of day,” “What is your favorite city,” etc… and then you have to forward it on to all your friends and copy the person that sent it to you. WELL, apparently, in the blog world, there’s similar thing called getting “Tagged” in which one blogger answers a 6 question “Meme” (look this one up, because i still don’t know what the f it means) and then forwards or “tags” another blogger to answer the same question. Tonight I got the chance to catch up on reading all ...Read More
Sure, I could blog about the woman today at Babies R Us who said “Ooh-ew” when Baby-Ko sneezed in her direction… or I could talk about the advice I gave to my Grandmother regarding her love life… or I could talk about a 52 year old contestant named Yoko on “American Gladiators” who got her ass kicked by Crush and will need more then just a bone density test the next time she sees her doctor…. BUT NO. I’m not going to talk about any of that. WHY? WHY?? Because it was the season finale of “The Bachelorette” and was as delicious as the meatloaf that I made for dinner. ...Read More
As if I wasn’t disheveled enough, now I have to obide by the new HANDS-FREE LAW that became effective in the state of California TODAY. This law prohibits all drivers from using handheld wireless telephones while operating a motor vehicle. AWESOME. So instead of simply answering my phone, reaching back to give Baby-Ko a pacifier AND honk at the idiot who could have made ten left turns by now, (a sequence of events that I have so gracefully mastered in the past 9 months), NOW I have to find the EAR PIECE somewhere in the abyss that is my purse, answer the phone, reach back to give Baby-Ko the ...Read More