As if I wasn’t disheveled enough, now I have to obide by the new HANDS-FREE LAW that became effective in the state of California TODAY. This law prohibits all drivers from using handheld wireless telephones while operating a motor vehicle. AWESOME. So instead of simply answering my phone, reaching back to give Baby-Ko a pacifier AND honk at the idiot who could have made ten left turns by now, (a sequence of events that I have so gracefully mastered in the past 9 months), NOW I have to find the EAR PIECE somewhere in the abyss that is my purse, answer the phone, reach back to give Baby-Ko the pacifier AND honk at the idiot who still hasn’t turned left because SHE TOO is looking for her fucking ear piece.

Look, I realize the point of an ear piece is to have it in your ear always, BEFORE you actually need the phone, so you’re not fishing around for it frantically WHILE you drive. But a) I think those people that walk around with their blue tooth in all the time look like douches and b) I have a hard enough time wearing small earrings without Baby-Ko trying to yank them out. AND YES, I realize that this law was designed to protect people and is probably going to save many lives, especially since it prohibits minors from texting (which I’m sure they are not “LOL”ing about). But for me personally, it’s going to make life just a little more complicated… It’s going to make me feel even more unorganized and unkempt than I already do.

So from now on, if any of you call me (mom), and I don’t answer, do not take it personally. This time I’m not actually screening your call…

In other news, I am re-committing to working out again and dragged my fat ass to the gym this afternoon. Earlier in the day though, Brian Austin Green (a.k.a. David from the OG “90210”) was in line behind me today at Koo-Koo Roo. He was with this really cute girl who Baby-Ko was of course smiling at and flirting with. When we both got up to the register she leaned in and said “Ooh! So Squshy!” I can assume she meant Baby-Ko and not my ass right???

FILED UNDER: A Little Life

Leave a Comment


  1. Alli B.
    Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
    hahaha sooo funny! you should get bluetooth installed in your car, so you talk/listen through microphone/your cars speakers. then you dont have to wear the hideous ear piece. luv ya.