4 days down. 26 more to go.
Yesterday for lunch I had a bowl of soup and four, I repeat FOUR (low sodium) wheat thins. Today for lunch I had a whole wheat english muffin with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, and 1 TEASPOON of honey. For a snack, I got an apple and swift kick in the vag.
I think I’ve been punked.
Look, I promise not to only write about this diet for the next twenty-six-starvation-filled-days. But tonight, as I checked the assigned menu once, then twice, then went BACK to the original email of instructions to see if there was a dessert or even a piece of fucking fruit that the “Diet Guru” perhaps FORGOT to include on my menu, I realized that writing about anything other than food was not going to happen.
Although, I suppose I could write about this afternoon when my CELL PHONE fell out of my jeans back pocket and RIGHT into the TOILET. Of course, that’s not a very appetizing topic either…
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