my body
I WEIGHED MY JEANS
I have a confession: I weighed my pants. Like stripped down and put my jeans ON the scale.
I waited for a number to come up. Nothing.
Zero.
I took them off the scale and tried it again.
Zero point zero.
Fuck. There goes that plan.
I was on my way to the doctor, the LADY doctor to be exact. Not for anything in particular, just a yearly check-up to make sure all my parts are still functioning after three babies. (Happy to report my reproductive system is still on fleek). ANYWAY, with a 10:00am appointment I was panicking a bit. Not because of the inevitable traffic to head over the hill to ...Read More
Confession: I’ve been taking a lot of “selfies” lately. Almost 98% of these selfies are just for me… a chance to see what I look like in my outfit... in my camera. (Cray cray, I know). The other 2% of my photos are texted to my fashion crush and style guru Robin Saperstein. Upon receiving my texts, Robin kindly indulges me with a “Yay,” “NO,” or “It’s not my favorite,” (which is code for, “you need my help.”) Well, in an effort to feel so good, Eden and I decided we’d shop her closet to find the cutest outfits for our Moms’ Night for the Project Runway finale where we’re ...Read More
Ah, it’s March and that means Spring is in the air… Actually, here in Los Angeles, Spring was in the air in December and pretty much all through January… and I’m pretty sure I spotted Summer one weekend in February…. So forget the air part. It’s just March. And that means a lot of things…
For starters, for the past couple of years, every March I seem to make it my mission to cleanse. I want to clean house. To clean body. To clean mind. Without fail though, having just spent the two months prior to March making excuses, mentally, as to why postponing all my “cleansing” resolutions is probably better ...Read More
A couple of weeks ago, I experienced a Spa Night like no other…. In need of a night of relaxation and quiet time, I decided I’d check out a popular Korean spa here in town. Many of my friends have been raaaaaaving about it forever… “You have to try the scrub! Get the scrub! You’ll looooove the scrub!”According to the menu, my “aged skin cells” would be “sloughed away using a traditional Korean technique.” Considering that I’m gonna be 40… someday… (she says a la Sally Albright), I had to jump at this $25 opportunity. Let’s shed some mother effin old skin, people. I’m in. AND, while we’re at it, I thought, let’s take ...Read More
I don’t know when it happened but these days, I cannot look into a mirror to see what I look like. It’s like I see the reflection, but I don’t really see it…. So what do I do? I take a picture. (Before you really start to call me ca-razy, know that I only do this when I’m trying to decide on an outfit for something really important…. As if that makes any sense or is any better). do actually like my body (most days) and feel good about myself (a lot). So I’m not sure this is about some deep seeded disorder or insecurity…. I’m wondering if digital ...Read More
For three days straight, my LEFT EYE has been twitching. Though my instinct is to spiral into a state of hypochondria and declare the worst, I know better…. for this twitch, this incessant, annoying, want-to-punch-my-own-eye-out feeling is NOT a first for me. In fact, last year, I’m pretty sure I visited an internist, an ENT, an allergist, and an optometrist (oh, and for shits and giggles I suppose I should mention the neurologist too) to rule out “the worst….”
Well, my friends. Thanks to the intra-web, I don’t need to visit these doctors again. Every possible reason for this annoying eye twitch has been listed below….. For twenty cents, ...Read More
The day Robin Saperstein of High Heel in a Haystack contacted me about doing a Fashion Makeover, I was convinced we were having a kharmic, psychic fashion connection. Here I was, having just shot a video on how Appearances matter when it comes to Manners and how my American Apparel pullover and Lululemon yoga pants could take my son to preschool on their own if need be– and an LA based, celebrity stylist and former designer contacts me about working together…?! Well, to quote Lady Bananas: I. DIE.
The deal was Robin was going to come over and give me a Wardrobe Overhaul. Together, we would examine my wardrobe from ...Read More
When’s the last time you looked in the mirror, and saw those dark circles under your eyes as a status symbol– a beautiful indication of the hours you put into your family and life, instead of a sign of exhaustion and stress? Or when’s the last time you looked down at your breasts (literally DOWN at your breasts, as they now fall below the equator) and considered their (dis)placement as a rite of passage, instead of “the shitty thing about breastfeeding?” OR when’s the last time you looked at your ass in your not skinny jeans but alllmost 2 sizes CLOSER to the skinny jeans, and thought it looked perfectly ...Read More