guilt

When Jonah was a baby, I read a lot of books on “Attachment Parenting….” I think I missed the chapter about how to handle a child literally attaching themselves to you… when you’re trying to make lunch, or get dressed… … it was like an appendage… that I had no choice but to drag with me wherever I went…. I missed that part on Attachment Parenting. Especially the part where said child knows it’s funny and knows you kind of think it’s funny too.
This past week I felt like I was back in college, prepping and cramming at the last minute for finals and term papers. (Sure, one might ask what kind of papers and finals are given when you’re majoring in Theater/Acting, but trust me– It wasn’t all cigarettes and jazz hands). Anyway, these past few weeks (entire year, really) have felt like I’ve been on a spin cycle. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: right now, life is challenging. In. every. way. Take this picture for example. This is of me trying to get ready for work in the morning and Jonah ready for school. In order to ...Read More
10.04.10
8
As I get more and more entrenched in the “mom space,” I’m starting to wonder if some moms have a stronger genetic predisposition to the “MG” (that’s: Mom Guilt) more than others. Is it regional? Is it an age thing? Is it an environmental thing? Until recently, I would say I was your quintessential Californian/ Westside neurotic mom. Perhaps it was a divorce, a full time job (in said “mom space”), and some personal drama sprinkled here and there that made me loosen the reigns… that made me able to laugh at myself more and truly embrace the “whatever works” attitude that I desperately wished I lived by. Of course, connecting ...Read More
05.05.10
1
As mentioned a few weeks ago, I have officially become a single mom. This change in status not only comes with a slew of complex emotions and sadly, hairier legs, but also an onslaught of incessant mommy guilt…. which, as a working parent, who happens to work in the world of parenting, it can feel a little overwhelming. So, with a 2.5 year old little boy, my sensitivity level to what might ultimately eff him up for life (due to said divorce) is at an all time high… That said, I think it’s gone too far and Baby-Ko knows it. The kid is playing me. He hears the guilt ...Read More
Every now and again, we, parents, have one of “those” nights…. Those nights that test your patience… Those nights that test your skill… And those nights that tug at your heartstrings… Last night, I had one of those nights. Yes. All of the above. At some point in the late afternoon, I got a call from my babysitter “Ash-a-Wee” saying she had an emergency and if it was okay, she needed the evening off. This meant that she wouldn’t be able to pick up Baby-Ko from day care at 4:30pm. Just to preface, day care closes at 5:30 on the dot but Ash-a-Wee picks Baby-Ko up M-F at 4:30 or earlier. ...Read More
04.18.08
1
As I pushed the stroller past the windows at Trader Joe’s today, I caught a reflection of myself and for some reason the reality hit: It’s been 6 Days since I have pumped and 10 days since Baby-Ko has nursed. I am officially done with breastfeeding. I pushed Baby-Ko through the doors of the Hawaiian flared market and suddenly all the cheap, non-preservative, goodies it has to offer started to taunt me. “You are not breastfeeding anymore, lady, you do not get to eat me. You will not burn extra calories just by feeding your child. You will not get to have ‘just one more cookie’ after your midnight pumping ...Read More