January, 2018

The day we got Apple… Dear Dog People of America, I am writing to you today in an effort to merge our two worlds: the world of people that cry during animal rescue commercials, and the world of people that do not cry during animal rescue commercials. I fall in to the please keep reading so you don’t hate me category… You see much like Elsa, I’ve spent most of my life in the icy world of Arendelle where it is eternal winter and dogs are not allowed… In my heart. Well, I mean, they’re allowed, but because it’s so cold, they’re just not welcome. The only pet I ever had was a black cat ...Read More
1988. Washington D.C.Desk of Paul Simon.Like a BOSS Oh, The Places You Were Supposed To Go It’s 3:42pm. I’m standing in the lobby of a shitty building in North Hollywood. There’s an entrance to a bank outside the elevator bank where I’m waiting, and judging the covers of every “book,” I’m fairly certain this place could be robbed at any moment. Is someone going to come down to get me or what? I was supposed to go up for an interview at 3:30. I’ve now read the woman from HR’s email 15 times (yes, I did “dress appropriately,” thanks for reminding me. I didn’t realize it was 1992). I have called her ...Read More