April, 2008

Baby-Ko and I go to a very popular Mommy & Me class here in Los Angeles. The teacher, who’s name I won’t say, (but rhymes with “WACKY”), is known around town and apparently a spot in Wacky’s Class is so coveted, you have to get on the list the minute you conceive. I literally had to sign up for it when I was 10 weeks pregnant and that’s when I realized that we lived in the most competitive town there is. Baby-Ko hadn’t even developed arm buds yet and already he was on “a waiting list” for the September babies’ class. However, we were told that we’d most ...Read More
Dear Television God, Although I have the utmost respect for your divine holiness and even worked under your supervision and in your “realm” for many years, I have a bone to pick with you: WHY DID YOU MOVE “LOST” TO THURSDAY NIGHTS??? There are very few QUALITY shows on television and when there are, I’m pretty sure the good people of the TV Watching World would like to have them SPREAD evenly throughout their week. I cannot speak for everyone down here, but I think I speak for many when I ask: WHY, OH, WHY, DO YOU TORTURE YOUR PEOPLE BY PUTTING ALL THE BEST SHOWS ON IN ONE NIGHT??! We ...Read More
The green light on the monitor flares. My eyes pop open. 3:50 A.M. Aw, shit. I pull the covers over my face and pray Baby-Ko is just talking in his sleep…. 3:53 A.M. Yeah, not so much. He is officially “talking” in the form of crying. I will give it 2 more minutes (like the book said) until I go in and check on him. 3:54 A.M.Maybe I should go in now… No, no, no. Just wait. 59, 58, 57, 56…. 3:55 A.M.I jump out of bed. The sooner I go in, the sooner he (and I) will go back to sleep… I think. The question is: do I give him the ...Read More
As I pushed the stroller past the windows at Trader Joe’s today, I caught a reflection of myself and for some reason the reality hit: It’s been 6 Days since I have pumped and 10 days since Baby-Ko has nursed. I am officially done with breastfeeding. I pushed Baby-Ko through the doors of the Hawaiian flared market and suddenly all the cheap, non-preservative, goodies it has to offer started to taunt me. “You are not breastfeeding anymore, lady, you do not get to eat me. You will not burn extra calories just by feeding your child. You will not get to have ‘just one more cookie’ after your midnight pumping ...Read More
This past weekend, my Nana drove up from Leisure World (a lovely retirement community down in Laguna) to see Baby-Ko. Sunday, happened to mark my Papa’s yarzheit so it was nice for her to spend the day with me and the baby, my Mom and Aunt N as well. Nana: So, I have announcement. Mom: What?Nana: I went on a date.All: What??! With who??Nana: His name is H. We’ve sat next to each other at temple for years. His wife died 6 weeks ago.Me: Six weeks ago?? Jesus. Isn’t that a little fast?Nana/Aunt: ...Read More
Recently, a friend (okay, my therapist), told me about this group called Mom’s Club. It’s a national organization that has chapters in literally every neighborhood and it’s for stay at home moms; they have playgroups, mom’s night out, activities, etc. Baby-Ko and I already go to a very popular Mommy & Me class every week (more on this one later for sure), but I thought it might be nice to get to know some other moms in my neighborhood since many of my baby-mama friend’s live on the Westside (lucky bitches). But this morning I started to have doubts about wanting to commit to something else, let alone a “Club.” ...Read More
Everyone always warns you that when you have babies your sex life goes down the tubes and pretty much ceases to exist. And while I normally wouldn’t discuss our sex life with anyone, let alone millions of strangers on the internet (okay fine, just my sister who is the only person I know reading this), something happened to us last weekend that made me understand that warning that our friends heeded…. T-Ko had gotten us, and a bunch of friends, tickets to go to the Dodgers game at the Coliseum marking their 60th anniversary in Los Angeles. We both grew up in L.A. rooting for Dodger blue so we were both ...Read More
As I was searching through Baby-Ko’s book shelf today, trying to find something to read to him other than Goodnight Moon and US Weekly (shut up, he loves it), I stumbled upon a series of Jewish Books for children that someone gave to him at his bris (as if he really felt like reading that day). They’re called Sammy the Spider’s First _____ (Passover, Hanukkah, Sukkot, etc). Despite the fact that Purim was two weeks ago, I thought a little story about Queen Esther and Mordechai might be a bit more exciting than The Runaway-slit-my-wrists-crying-Bunny. There are obviously reasons why Purim is an important holiday for the Jews, but ...Read More