June, 2009

Yesterday, while exploring perhaps the most magnificent Whole Foods ever, I couldn’t help myself as I passed by the pizza bar. With my small(ish) sample in hand, I headed to the salad bar to get my “real” lunch.  En route, I noticed the most tantalizing display of olives… literally calling out to me.  Just as I was about to be the person who believes in test driving everything, including (free) food, (eeeeeven if you’ve given a whirl before),  I noticed a little sign: “No grazing?”  What am I… an animal?? As if I would just pick an olive straight from there. Who do you think I am? This sign can’t reaaaaaally be meant ...Read More
I’ll admit, I’ve never really understood why the zoo is so fascinating. Despite the fact that I’m not a huge animal lover and the zoo in LA (no matter what time of the year you go) is always hot and smells like poo, I find myself mesmerized by the animals behind the fences and glass. They do nothing really…. No Animal Planet type of chase or fight as the Mama Leopard attacks a Hyena to save her baby… No herd of Rhinoceros chasing after an explorer up a totem pole (hey, that’s what happens on the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland at least)… and certainly no wild, safari National Geographic type ...Read More
Last year, during my SAHM stint, I accidentally dropped my blackberry in the toilet. Twice. The first time it happened because I had my phone wedged in to the back pocket of my Rock & Republic Jeans and when I went to pull down my pants to go to the bathroom, my phone fell right in to the bowl. Awesome. The second time, I honestly have no idea what happened. I think it just fell out of my hand and in to the toilet. This time, the water was not clean.  Both scenarios sucked and of course ended up with me at the Verizon store begging and pleading with the mildly ...Read More
“You Can’t Come in ’cause you old as shit….  Not in the general sense, ’cause I’d tear that ass up,  but for this club…” — Knocked Up 32 isn’t old. I realize that. I know I have another 8 plus years of good solid uterus/baby making time and thanks to some decent genetics, even longer before my wrinkles become noticeable. That said, there are days, like today, when I feel old. When I stop myself and feel, well, “old as shit.”   One of the best/craziest things about sending Baby-Ko to a day care that a) I went to 30 years ago and b) that my friends send their kids to as well, is ...Read More
There are a lot of transitions happening in the world of J-Ko right now… Transitions can be hard. I’m learning to gather strength and encouragement from within and it ain’t easy…. Learning to be your own cheerleader is definitely empowering. And at some point, I do plan on talking about these transitions. But for now, I would like to focus on one major transition… okay, well, two…   The first is that I’m sending Baby-Ko back to day care full time. It’s a no-brainer, actually…. choosing day care over a full time nanny. First of all, a full time nanny in LA costs a friggin fortune and second, Baby-Ko is 21 ...Read More
I realize that most toddlers like to throw their food on to the floor, but Baby-Ko is definitely testing his limits in this department these days. I’ve started to sit him at the table, on a booster seat, without the tray. I place his food on an (overpriced, but darling and alphabet laden) place mat, in hopes that my royal highness will enjoy his cut up (overpriced, but nitrate free) chicken nuggets without picking up his (overpriced, but supposedly ergonomic or some shit) fork and chucking it across the room for no real good reason.  Unfortunately though, there seems to be nothing I can say or do lately to stop him ...Read More
Everyone has that ONE  tee shirt. That shirt that you’ve had forever… That you got on a cruise when you were 10 and says “Cabo Wabo” … It’s a crappy shirt really. One that you’d never wear out in public, but you probably sleep in 5 nights out of the week and ignore the massive hole in the armpit and the who-knows-when-you-got-that-stain on the collar.  It’s soft, it’s old, and no matter what, you will wear it until it dies. I have that shirt. I actually have three like that and I’m sad to announce, one of them must officially be put to sleep. The first of my beloved shirt dates ...Read More
I have a secret. A dirty little secret: I am a sample whore. A food sample whore. Farmer’s market on a Sunday… Would you like to try a homemade pickle? You bet I would! Costco (on any day really)… Would you like to try this shitty nut mix with a dollop of hummus? Sure! Why not. Whole Foods bakery section… A basket of  some seven grain zero taste bread that will back me up for days? Thank you sir, I’ll have another! It doesn’t matter what they’re passing out, if there is food, and IT IS FREE, I am in. Much like a wedding reception or any party where they are ...Read More