Lately, I have been thinking about going back to work. But with a baby, there are so many factors to consider. I can’t “just write” because, well, I can’t ” just get paid.”  I can’t go back to working in reality television because I worked 12 to 18 hours a day.  And I can’t get a “real job” in finance or something like that because, well, I studied Acting in college.  I’m not screwed, I just need the RIGHT job (that gets me out of my sweats and tank tops and into normal people clothes again) to come along. 

Well, I got this email today and while it’s greatly different from the “Job Opportunity” type emails I typically get from NYU Alumni, it does sound promising:

Dear Friend,

I have a project I want you to run with us. It involves exportation of 100,000 barrels of crude oil daily from Kirkuk, Iraq.

If you are interested, email me via: ******.com

Mr. Yan.
Dear Mr. Yan,
Thank you so much in your interest in working with me. I know very little about crude oil but am intrigued by the position nonetheless. I have a few questions regarding the position and hope that you’ll be able to provide me with some details:
1) Can I “run” crude oil from home?
2) I will need about an hour (every half hour) to do something “baby related,” will that work for you?
3) Can I have Thursdays off? I have a pre-existing obligation in which I cannot get out of. (Also, Wacky does not give refunds).
4) Do you offer health benefits? I’ve only had one abnormal pap.
5) Will crude oil ruin my nails? I recently got “pink and whites” and it wasn’t cheap.
Once again, I appreciate your email and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

I of course told T-Ko about this exciting job opportunity and he said if it means we won’t have to pay $89 bucks to fill up my car anymore, I should take it and added, “Kirkuk’s nice in the fall.” 
You’re right, babe. PLUS, it would mean I could actually wear all those cute work clothes just sitting in my closet. This MIGHT be an offer, I CAN’T REFUSE…
FILED UNDER: A Little Life

Leave a Comment


  1. Alli B.
    Sunday, July 27th, 2008
    I think you need to forward that email to the FBI...
  2. crakiw
    Thursday, July 31st, 2008
    lol i just got same post