Sleep

The 5 Emotions of Sleep Training When Jonah was 5 months old, I had probably already read 468 books about baby development. From what to expect each minute of his precious life to breastfeeding because formula is the boogeyman, I was well versed in all things babyhood. Except sleep. Well that’s not true. I knew WHAT to do. I just didn’t do it. But I was 31. And 31 year olds can go without sleep more than almost 40 year old’s can. “And I’m going to be 40… When? Someday…” (By the way, if you don’t get that reference than you’re definitely too young to be reading this). Anyway, I’ve been feeling ...Read More
Oh, boy. That’s my boy.
For three days straight, my LEFT EYE has been twitching. Though my instinct is to spiral into a state of hypochondria and declare the worst, I know better…. for this twitch, this incessant, annoying, want-to-punch-my-own-eye-out feeling is NOT a first for me. In fact, last year, I’m pretty sure I visited an internist, an ENT, an allergist, and an optometrist (oh, and for shits and giggles I suppose I should mention the neurologist too) to rule out “the worst….” Well, my friends. Thanks to the intra-web, I don’t need to visit these doctors again. Every possible reason for this annoying eye twitch has been listed below….. For twenty cents, ...Read More
What do you do when your kid won’t sleep? No, I mean WON’T. SLEEP. And I don’t mean a 5 month old who sleeps for 5 hours at a time and wakes up to feed, for the occasional 2 am or 6am feed. (Please, cry me a river). No. I mean, a 3 1/2 year old who can walk, talk and “Beautiful Mind,” him AND you out of any sleeping scenario. What. Do. You. Do.? Traditional sleep training doesn’t work because he doesn’t stay put. As stated, said child will waltz right out of room, plop down with me on the couch and ask me what song they’re singing ...Read More
Though bedtime has become a battle in my house as of late, there are actually a few sweet rituals that have little to no hysteria-three year-old-hostage stand-off- negotiation type qualities. One of those rituals happens to be a discussion about dreams… After I’ve told him a story about how houses are built in a factory run by five men named Bob, Steve, Joe, Fred, and Roger (don’t ask), I rock him in the chair and tell him to have sweet dreams. Of course, conversation ensues… J: What should I dream about, Mommy? Me: Tonight, you should dream about chocolate chips, rainbows and Giraffes who play the violin— J: No, no, no, Mommy. I’m ...Read More
02.09.11
6
As someone dedicated to hypochondria and overall “shpilkes,” I’m pretty hardcore when it comes to popping pills. That is, I DON’T like to take medicine of any kind unless I have to. I have this irrational fear about mixing medication with just about anything: wine, coffee, Pink Berry… No joke, I have called a doctor before to ask if it was okay to take Advil with Diet Coke. (What if just one time, my body couldn’t handle the ibuprofen, caffeine and NutraSweet combination, and POOF, I die?! This is a valid concern!) I think one of the scariest things about being a single mom is feeling like you ...Read More
09.01.10
6
For the past few weeks, Baby-Ko has woken up saying “Mommy, I’m up from my dream! Come get me!” As I pick him up out of his crib (yes, he’s turning 3. No, he’s not in a big boy bed yet), I do my best to cheerily ask him about said dream. Me: “What did you dream about?” Baby-Ko: “The jungle!” Me: “The jungle?!” Baby-Ko: “Yaaaaaaaaaah, the jungle. And, and, and, the ocean!” Now before you marvel at how amazingly imaginative my young boy is, I must confess: He did not come to these brilliant visions and landscapes on his own. I sort of fed them to him… At some point, during a typical nightly ...Read More
05.05.10
1
As mentioned a few weeks ago, I have officially become a single mom. This change in status not only comes with a slew of complex emotions and sadly, hairier legs, but also an onslaught of incessant mommy guilt…. which, as a working parent, who happens to work in the world of parenting, it can feel a little overwhelming. So, with a 2.5 year old little boy, my sensitivity level to what might ultimately eff him up for life (due to said divorce) is at an all time high… That said, I think it’s gone too far and Baby-Ko knows it. The kid is playing me. He hears the guilt ...Read More
No matter how hard I try, my mornings with Baby-Ko are usually a little harried… especially when he wakes up at 5:36am ready to play doctor. (Oh, have I mentioned he likes to pretend that he works at a “Hop-tical” now?) Despite my attempts to have everything from food, to clothes to morning rituals laid out and planned ahead, there is one thing I have zero control over: his mood. This morning: He. Was. In. A. Mood. Gave him the play dough (reserved for his table/ but played with on the couch).Gave him a lollipop (reserved for dinner/ but given before breakfast).Gave him a basket of my old makeup (reserved for the ...Read More
Last night I slept on the floor. Yes. The floor. Next to Baby-Ko’s crib. In a fetal position. Using his changing pad as pillow, and my robe as a blanket, I managed to squeeze my arm through a slat so that my son, my very (possibly terrible) two year old son, could hold my hand, and eventually (pray god) fall the eff asleep. Two hours and one majorly numb hip later, I gently removed my hand from his grip, and literally crept out of the room cursing every creak my exhausted knees caused as I crawled down the hallway. For about a week now, I have broken every rule in THE sleep ...Read More