getting ready for baby

The day we got Apple… Dear Dog People of America, I am writing to you today in an effort to merge our two worlds: the world of people that cry during animal rescue commercials, and the world of people that do not cry during animal rescue commercials. I fall in to the please keep reading so you don’t hate me category… You see much like Elsa, I’ve spent most of my life in the icy world of Arendelle where it is eternal winter and dogs are not allowed… In my heart. Well, I mean, they’re allowed, but because it’s so cold, they’re just not welcome. The only pet I ever had was a black cat ...Read More
04.05.17
3
21 Weeks… I think… Remember This Life is moving quickly these days. I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy, we’re in escrow on our house (and on the hunt for a new one), Oliver knows that “P” is for “poo poo!” and Jonah has questions about Brexit . I truly can’t keep up. The other day, as I watched Oliver literally throw himself on the floor because I wouldn’t hand over my phone so he could look at photos and probably surf for porn, (Kids are very advanced these days), I realized I haven’t been documenting his milestones (including the ones that make me want to throw myself on the floor too). With ...Read More
02.27.17
2
My Shot Me circa 1984… When parenting was easy… Ever since finding out that I was pregnant in November, I’ve sort of had the iconic “Hamilton” song “My Shot,” in my head. It’s sort of become my mantra. In about an hour, I will be jumping on the phone with a sleep consultant (again) to try to figure out how to eradicate the sleep terror in our house that has existed for the last 17 months… Actually, if you’re including the little dude’s leader, (insert mugshot of older brother Jonah here), the issue of sleep, or lack thereof, is an issue I’ve had to deal with for 9 1/2 years. Needless to say, I’m fucking EXHAUSTED. Before co-sleeping ...Read More
Aquaphor Baby: From the First Bath On Oliver’s First Bath, September 2015 Let’s face it: There are very few things in the world that are both as exciting and stressful as bringing home your newborn from the hospital. Even though I had already “been there done that” with Jonah, when we brought Oliver home from the hospital, I still had that feeling that all new moms get that first week at home… terror, joy, exhaustion, and concern… Am I doing this right? Is he okay? Is he hungry? From feeding to sleeping and to everything in between, there is so much information out there it’s hard to know what to trust let ...Read More
12.08.15
0
The New Old Mommy When you have a baby, at some point, you forget how overwhelmingly overwhelming “the beginning” was. From the delivery room to those first days and weeks (that feel like months) at home, you forget just how much pain you were in, how scared you were, how agonizingly awful the sleepless nights feel, and how petrified you are by the body you see in the mirror that you’re convinced will never be the same. And then, magically, strangely, sadistically, you FORGET… It wasn’t that awful. It wasn’t that painful. Overnight, your birth story becomes an old war story: You literally survived D-Day. You’re able to sit around with your ...Read More
 When one thinks of having a baby, there are most certainly two words that you would never think of side by side: Labor and Games. For most women labor is the FURTHEST thing from fun and games. While my experience wasn’t horrific, (actually, it was pretty downright smooth), I still wouldn’t call it a walk in the park and I still wouldn’t categorize it under “Fun.” Miraculous, yes. Fun, ehhh. Not so much. Somehow though, TLC has managed to create a show that gives a little levity to the act of labor with a new game show called “Labor Games.” It basically goes like this: A lovely host barges into a hospital and ...Read More