January, 2011

Over breakfast… Me: (Holding up a grapefruit) Have you ever tried a grapefruit? Jonah: Yes. Ash-a-lee (his old babysitter) shared a grapefruit with me one time. Me: Did you like it? J: I did. (Pause). Mommy, how come Ash-a-lee doesn’t pick me up anymore? Me: Because she moved and is going to college. J: College???? Me: College. Yes, it’s a school for older kids. You go there to learn about the things you love. You study interesting things in college. J: Study?? Me: Yes, if you love numbers then you study math… If you love books and reading you study English. Or art… You could study art and about painting and drawing. (Pause). What do you ...Read More
Well, it’s official. NOTHING in my life is cookie cutter.
A couple of years ago, I wrote a post for Momlogic about the Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate the Park. Although there was a little truth to it (yes, I hate birds. Always will), I mostly meant it as a joke (kind of). Now that Jonah is older, I definitely do enjoy trips to the park more because he’s able to explore and play in a different way than when he was a toddler. I love watching him interact with children he doesn’t know and climb on equipment confidently…. That is, until bitches get in my way. Let me rephrase: Old bitches. Okay. I know that is going to sound ...Read More
Considering I think farts are the funniest things in the world, and would be happy to share my own bowel history and issues with anyone willing to listen, I suppose it should come as no surprise that my son may have a genetic predisposition to an excitement and interest in “potty talk.” Pretty much every other word these days is “Poop.” I’m not kidding you, he weaves it into every story, every thought, every answer, and every scenario. Me: “Jonah, would you like eggs or oatmeal for breakfast?” J: “Um, I would like… Eggies…. aaaaaaand poop!” Me: (Lights out. Story time). “Would you like to hear the story about William climbing the tree or ...Read More
Me at 3…. Him at 3…
Dear Neighbors, I’m starting to think you are covert spies and/or are running from the law, because shredding papers at 3:51am is just plain shady. Btw, does your cat wear heels? Love, Me Dear Lady Gaga, Congratulations. You have a new fan: Me. You can thank my 3 year old son for enjoying how “koo koo” you are and loving “Telephone.” He… er, we’re hooked. Love, Me Dear Neighborhood Dog, I can’t blame you because you’d poop just about anywhere if you could, so if you could please pass this kind letter along to your owner, that’d be swell. Tell him this: Los Angeles is a real big city, would you mind taking your smushy, ...Read More
Big hope. Little hope.
It all starts Monday. I don’t know what it is about new year’s (and diets for that matter too), but no matter the day or date it falls on, my “new year” and the resolutions that I make and vow to keep don’t actually go in to effect, in my mind, until MONDAY. So it’s only fitting that I discuss my resolutions TODAY, the THIRD day of the New Year…. I’m sick of saying how challenging 2010 was, so let me share something that really happened to me as an example that really ought to sum up just what a cluster effer of a year this one was: 2 flat tires in 2 ...Read More