1988. Washington D.C.Desk of Paul Simon.Like a BOSS Oh, The Places You Were Supposed To Go It’s 3:42pm. I’m standing in the lobby of a shitty building in North Hollywood. There’s an entrance to a bank outside the elevator bank where I’m waiting, and judging the covers of every “book,” I’m fairly certain this place could be robbed at any moment. Is someone going to come down to get me or what? I was supposed to go up for an interview at 3:30. I’ve now read the woman from HR’s email 15 times (yes, I did “dress appropriately,” thanks for reminding me. I didn’t realize it was 1992). I have called her ...Read More
Last week, I got my first “Hi, this is the nurse calling from **** School. Your son has a terrible stomach ache and his teacher would like you to come get him.” The call came in roughly 17 minutes after I dropped him off.  To be exact, the actually came in roughly two hours from (the first time) he told me he had a stomach ache and didn’t want to go to school… to which I responded, “A tummy ache… Hmm. Maybe you should use the bathroom…?” He said that wasn’t the problem. It was just his tummy and he wanted to stay home. In fact, he needed to ...Read More
I may have created a monster, and his name is William…. I don’t quite remember how it happened, but it was something like this…. One day, Jonah was having your average meltdown about something – an I need another string cheese, higher bubbles in the bath NOW, I want my own car (as in- his own Nissan Motor car) moments… Completely exasperated, the only way I could talk him down off the hysteria ledge was quickly distracting him with a story about a little boy named William who also didn’t get the piece of string cheese, higher bubbles in the bath, etc etc…. Weeks later, he is now begging me for William ...Read More