Baby-Ko
Hi, there. You still here? Sorry. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I knoooooow. I knoooooow. I should be writing more. You’re right. It’s true. But trust me. TRUST. ME. I have some pretty good goddamn excuses up my sleeves. And once I’m able to share them all with you, you will forgive me. I prom.
In the meantime, let’s talk about the UFC style bout I had this morning, trying to get Baby-Ko in the car. I have always thought the term “terrible two’s” are, well, terrible. I mean, to me, this seems like the best age ever. He looks and sounds like a little munchkin, he’s ...Read More
Lately I’ve gotten a little flip cam happy…. especially during meal time. The other morning as Baby-Ko ate cottage cheese (with his hands), I felt like I was once again witnessing a moment in time that had to be captured. While the sound of my voice makes me want to become a mute (and makes me think I have a speech impediment) and my parenting/ discipline skills, (or lack thereof), could use some serious fine tuning, it is his rendition of ABC’s that makes me feel like the proudest mom in the world….
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P.S. Clearly, The Mommy Dearest/ Vacuum Monster shtick didn’t last long. Just ask the carpet cleaners….
For those of you that have been following PD for a little while, you will recall that my Nana is a big part of my life and has certainly been a source for “material.” While she does live in a retirement village called Leisure World replete golf carts, club houses and sloped curbs (god forbid someone trips), she really isn’t your typical 80 year old Grandma. In fact, this year, she’s already been to Ireland and Las Vegas (both equally important destinations) and in a couple weeks, she’s going to Africa with a friend for a 3 weeks. What’s even more impressive, is that she is a very talented artist ...Read More
I’ll admit, I’ve never really understood why the zoo is so fascinating. Despite the fact that I’m not a huge animal lover and the zoo in LA (no matter what time of the year you go) is always hot and smells like poo, I find myself mesmerized by the animals behind the fences and glass. They do nothing really…. No Animal Planet type of chase or fight as the Mama Leopard attacks a Hyena to save her baby… No herd of Rhinoceros chasing after an explorer up a totem pole (hey, that’s what happens on the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland at least)… and certainly no wild, safari National Geographic type ...Read More
“You Can’t Come in ’cause you old as shit….
Not in the general sense, ’cause I’d tear that ass up,
but for this club…” — Knocked Up
32 isn’t old. I realize that. I know I have another 8 plus years of good solid uterus/baby making time and thanks to some decent genetics, even longer before my wrinkles become noticeable. That said, there are days, like today, when I feel old. When I stop myself and feel, well, “old as shit.”
One of the best/craziest things about sending Baby-Ko to a day care that a) I went to 30 years ago and b) that my friends send their kids to as well, is ...Read More
There are a lot of transitions happening in the world of J-Ko right now… Transitions can be hard. I’m learning to gather strength and encouragement from within and it ain’t easy…. Learning to be your own cheerleader is definitely empowering. And at some point, I do plan on talking about these transitions. But for now, I would like to focus on one major transition… okay, well, two…
The first is that I’m sending Baby-Ko back to day care full time. It’s a no-brainer, actually…. choosing day care over a full time nanny. First of all, a full time nanny in LA costs a friggin fortune and second, Baby-Ko is 21 ...Read More
I realize that most toddlers like to throw their food on to the floor, but Baby-Ko is definitely testing his limits in this department these days. I’ve started to sit him at the table, on a booster seat, without the tray. I place his food on an (overpriced, but darling and alphabet laden) place mat, in hopes that my royal highness will enjoy his cut up (overpriced, but nitrate free) chicken nuggets without picking up his (overpriced, but supposedly ergonomic or some shit) fork and chucking it across the room for no real good reason.
Unfortunately though, there seems to be nothing I can say or do lately to stop him ...Read More
Everyone has that ONE tee shirt. That shirt that you’ve had forever… That you got on a cruise when you were 10 and says “Cabo Wabo” … It’s a crappy shirt really. One that you’d never wear out in public, but you probably sleep in 5 nights out of the week and ignore the massive hole in the armpit and the who-knows-when-you-got-that-stain on the collar. It’s soft, it’s old, and no matter what, you will wear it until it dies.
I have that shirt. I actually have three like that and I’m sad to announce, one of them must officially be put to sleep. The first of my beloved shirt dates ...Read More
If there is one thing in the world I can’t be trusted with, it is A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES. Plastic, wired, black or tortoise shell, doesn’t matter: I will break them, lose them and/or generally f*ck them up. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way…. buying trendy, expensive, and the requisite make-my-face-look-skinny-frames, only to sit on them (accidentally), drop kick them (accidentally), or lose them (accidentally, of course).
The worst example of nice glasses gone bad was a couple years ago… Before a vacation, I went out and bought a fab pair, got to said (super sunny and gorge) destination, only to discover that I had forgotten them along with ...Read More
Not sure how, when, or where Baby-Ko learned to say “Booger” but I’m thoroughly impressed and delighted. He’s come down with a little cold and when I wipe his nose, he begs, “no more boogers!” I mean… What?! How does he know that? I’m certain Elmo and his freaky side kick Mr. Noodle don’t talk about the letter “B” and say “B is for baseball, bears, BOOGERS! We like Boogers!“…. And I know that Rachel and her hard-of-hearing friends aren’t showing kiddos at home the sign (language) for snot or boogies. Thus, it’s safe to assume that Nanny Oof-Oof is probably responsible. I’m not mad – It’s better than the ...Read More
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