Photo from RealSimpleGood.com

As I finally sat down to write this post last night, aka known as my favorite night of the year, Julia Roberts was walking out on stage and she looked so gorgeous, I literally gasped out loud. How ironic, I think to myself… here I am in in the middle of writing a post, sharing a recent paleo recipe I discovered and I’m drooling over both her stunning pink gown and the raspberry peanut butter cup Humphrey’s yogurt that I’m pretty sure will tip the scales (literally and figuratively) on my macros for the day (because what would my life be like if I wasn’t actually dieting at some point).

But that’s not what this post is about. Okay, well it kind of is. I mean, I didn’t INTEND for this to be a post about the 645thdiet, er, excuse me“lifestyle change” I’m trying. But since we’re being honest and you’re likely just scrolling through this part to get to the FUCKING POINT anyway, then I will tell you about the new diet du jour. It’s called Faster Way to Fat Loss. (I know, it is so Jenny Craig sounding I can’t even). BUT you know what, the befores and afters on insta have kept me up at night more than Jenny Mollen’s stories at the dermatologist or pulling out her own sutures, so that’s really saying something. I won’t go into deets about this diet, because I’m only on like day 5 and given my dieting track record, I won’t make it past day 10. But I feel like so far, it’s TOTALLY been worth the $199. (Hi, Peter. I love you.).

In a nutshell, you intermittent fast every day with an 8 hour eating window. So basically, I eat 12pm-8pm and fast 16 hours. At first I thought it was hard, but research shows

OMG WHO CARES. Even I’m boring myself. Just go on insta and search #fwtfl or follow @Seersuckerandsaddles and @somewherelately and you can see what my new crazy/time suck sitch is all about.

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yes… THE RECIPE FOR PALEO CROCK POT CHICKEN TERIYAKI. So regardless of whatever diet I’m doing, if you follow me on Instagram, or happen to be an irl human that I know, then YOU KNOW I  do like to cook and am always searching for a new weeknight meal. I’m so over my usuals and was excited when I simply googled “Crockpot” Paleo Chicken Teriyaki and got this one.

I’m not even going to pretend that I know how this person came up with it or walk you through the steps (unless you want to know how to drink Rose while you cook at the same time. That I can do). But I will just say this: The recipe calls for chicken thigh, I used CHICKEN BREAST. I also “zsjuzshed” it a bit as measurements because their recipe calls for 2lbs and I had about 3.25… so I added another 1 or 2 dates, another ¼ c of coconut aminos, and a bit more of everything else. I also used arrowroot powder instead of tapioca starch at the end to thicken the sauce. Oh, and most importantly, I cooked in the crockpot for 5 hours on low. Next time I would do 4 hours on low. That would have been enough and made it a tad less dry.

All in all though, this was a HUGE success. EVERYONE loved it.

Tomorrow, I’m going to give this recipe a try. Will let you know how it goes. In the meantime, I have to go break my fast. And by break my fast, break the internet as fast as I can googling “Julia Roberts diet.”

Photo from RealSimpleGood.com

SLOW COOKER TERIYAKI CHICKEN: PALEO & WHOLE 30 APPROVED

Ingredients

2 lbs boneless chicken thighs**(Remember, I used breasts)

For the teriyaki sauce:

  • 3/4 cup coconut aminos
  • 4 pitted dates, soaked for 10-15 minutes in warm water to soften then drained
  • 3 tbsp apple cider vinegar
  • 2 tsp fresh ginger grated on a microplane
  • 2 tsp garlic powder

For serving:

  • White or cauli rice (cauli rice for Whole30)
  • Mixed greens
  • Sesame seeds
  • Green onion diced

Optional (to thicken sauce):

Instructions

For the slow cooker:

  • Place all of the sauce ingredients in a blender or food processor and run continuously to combine all the ingredients until smooth. Stop to scrape sides down as needed and restart.
  • Place chicken thighs in the slow cooker and pour the teriyaki sauce over the chicken.
  • Cover and cook on low for 6 hours or on high for 3 hours.

For the Instant Pot:

  • Make teriyaki sauce as noted above.
  • Place chicken thighs in the Instant Pot and pour the teriyaki sauce over the chicken.
  • Secure the lid on the instant pot and close the pressure valve. Press the “manual” button (or “pressure cook” button) and set the time to cook for 20 minutes at high pressure. Once the time is up, quick release the pressure.
  • While the chicken is cooking, prepare cauli or white rice for serving.
  • Once the chicken is finished cooking, shred it with 2 forks inside the slow cooker or Instant Pot. Mix the shredded chicken with the cooking juices. Spoon some of the remaining teriyaki sauce over the chicken when serving.
  • Serve and sprinkle with chopped green onions and sesame seeds.

Optional (to thicken sauce):

  • If you want a thicker teriyaki sauce for serving perform the following steps after shredding the chicken.
  • Remove shredded chicken from the crockpot or instant pot with a slotted spoon. Pour remaining sauce into a small saucepan.
  • Mix tapioca starch into the water until it dissolves. Pour this into the saucepan and mix.
  • Heat on medium-high until it just begins to bubble, then turn down and simmer for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently.

Spoon sauce over chicken for serving.

Photo of my actual dinner below 🙂

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