Everyone always warns you that when you have babies your sex life goes down the tubes and pretty much ceases to exist. And while I normally wouldn’t discuss our sex life with anyone, let alone millions of strangers on the internet (okay fine, just my sister who is the only person I know reading this), something happened to us last weekend that made me understand that warning that our friends heeded….

T-Ko had gotten us, and a bunch of friends, tickets to go to the Dodgers game at the Coliseum marking their 60th anniversary in Los Angeles. We both grew up in L.A. rooting for Dodger blue so we were both pretty excited, especially T-Ko. He has a bunch of Dodger gear that he had taken out for the game but was most excited to wear a Sandy Koufax jersey that a friend had given him from this famous store in Philadelphia. I have no idea the name or of it’s importance, but apparently it’s very cool and very special. Whatever, maybe it’s like getting a real Hermes scarf at the Hermes store in Paris…. I don’t know.

Anyway, the game was scheduled for Saturday night so we made arrangements to have my mom come and baby-sit. We told her to be at our house by 3ish so we could get ready and leave early since traffic would surely be a nightmare. Well, at like
2:45pm we put Baby-Ko down for a nap and T-Ko seized the opportunity and asked if there was any time for a “quickie.”
With my mom possibly minutes away, I asked, “How quick?”
“Quick. Trust me.”
Fine. Count me in. My hair still needed straightening and I remembered there were some stray hairs on my brows that needed tweezing that I had noticed earlier in the day. Stadium lights are brutal. I have things to do.

Just as T-Ko and I get our party started, we heard KEYS in the front door. T-Ko froze.
“Grammy’s here!” My mom yelled from the living room. DUH! She has her own set of keys!
“Shit!” T-Ko jumped up and ran into our bathroom. I quickly ran to my door and peeked my head out to my mom and tried to whisper, “Baby’s sleeping. We’re, um, getting dressed. We’ll be right out. Baby’s sleeping…” I said again so that she wouldn’t be tempted to go check on Baby-Ko since his room is next to ours.
My mom shrugged and I shut the door. Phew. Operation quickie back in effect. Let’s proceed.
“C’mon. Let’s do it. ” I said to T-Ko on a mission. “She thinks we’re getting dressed.”
“But what if she can she hear us?” T-Ko said like a high school boy about to get caught.
“I don’t know… Just pretend we’re talking about what we’re going to wear… ”
“Okay,” he said and we RESUMED.
“So-what-should-I-wear?” I said mechanically.
“Um…I don’t…” T-Ko was having a hard time playing the game.
“Jeans and a sweater. Or sweatshirt…?”
“Sweatshirt!” He was “pretending” a little too loud.
“Shhh!” I giggled. “Okay. Sweatshirt. What about you?”
“My jersey…” He trailed off.
“Oh, your jersey…” Shit, I was trailing off too.
“My jersey…”
“Yes, your jersey. Your jersey….” Playing pretend was getting tougher by the second. “Which one?”
“What??” Poor T-Ko. “I don’t-“
“You should wear your Koufax one… Wear your Koufax one… Your Koufax….”
“That’s it?” I whispered. T-Ko shot me a look.
“Sorry. I mean, great!” I added, “You should definitely wear your Sandy Koufax one.”
We quickly kissed, and then high fived and got (re)dressed. My mom (until now. Sorry, mom) never suspected a thing.

Well, tonight we’ve got plans to grab margaritas and dinner with Charlie, Sara and G-Rat. T-Ko’s putting Baby-Ko to sleep now and we might have a few minutes to spare before my in-laws get here to baby-sit. And while Sandy Koufax kind of sex is a far cry from our good ‘ol days, at least it’s something. Besides, tonight T-Ko can stay an extra “inning” if he needs to… My in-laws don’t have keys to our house.

FILED UNDER: A Little Life

Leave a Comment


  1. Sara and Charlie
    Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
    We've had Orel Hershiser sex, but you have taken it to a whole new level with full on Sandy Koufax sex. Nice work.

    P.S. Funny stuff!
  2. Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
    As long as he hits a homerun most of the time, Sandy Koufax will do as a pinch hitter, Great story:)
  3. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    Hey wait until you have three kids... you'll be grateful for Sandy Koufax.
  4. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

    Quickies and parenthood go hand-in-hand...sometimes you just gotta take what you can get! :-)
  5. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    My dad had a key to our house too. He always forgot to knock and just walked in.....many close calls! He was the most wonderful sweet man, so I'd gently remind him about knocking or ringing the bell. Your story is so funny and brings several close calls of mine to mind!
  6. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    ummm, do I need a jersey??

    Great read!

  7. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    Ha! this is hilarious. Thanks for the funny story.
  8. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    Very funny!!!! Sounds like something that would happen at my house!
  9. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    LOL! Thanks for the great story!
  10. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
  11. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    Very funny story. I have never WANTED my mother (or anyone else for that matter) to hear what's happening behind the door, but who knows how desperate we'll get?
  12. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    LOL This is great! What do I do when me and my s/o like different teams? If I put on my jersey, he would walk out of the room! LOL
  13. Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    I didn't know jerseys were that sexy lol. I have a teenager, you have to get extra sneeky with them in the house...
  14. jmolea01
    Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
    Great story! Sneaky is always more fun ;)
  15. Trudy
    Thursday, February 19th, 2009
    This is so funny...I absolutley love your blogs!!! Gotta love those quickie sneaky moments!
  16. Tameeky
    Thursday, February 19th, 2009
    Great story and Keep Having Great Sex, no matter how you have to sneak it in! Good Luck to you!
  17. Thursday, February 19th, 2009
    I'm pretty sure we've all been there. Thank heavens kids get older and we can find time for extra innings ;-)
  18. Thursday, February 19th, 2009
    Hi There,
    I think you should put up a poll and see how many of us women this happened too. There seems to be a lot of us. lol
  19. Friday, February 20th, 2009
    This is a classic! So true, many of us have been in similar situations lol
  20. Friday, February 20th, 2009
    Hilarious. Loved this!
  21. Friday, February 20th, 2009
    Too funny and Oh so true!!!
  22. Saturday, February 21st, 2009
    Can we all relate our what!?
    Love it!
  23. Saturday, February 21st, 2009
    The same thing happened to us when we were newlywed...except it was the old neighbor from up the road, and the door wasn't locked, and he came into the kitchen, and he called out for us, and our lunch dishes and leftovers were still warm and sitting on the table, and he paused for just a minute, and then left quickly... never to come in unannouced again!
  24. Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
    That is hilarious! At least the in-laws don't have a set of keys!
  25. Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
    anything for coffee...which I enjoy drinking while reading your blog...
  26. Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
    Hats off to both of you for being able to resume! My mother in law is WAAAY to nosey! She would have offered to come in and help pick out our clothes!
  27. Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
    Damn funny! My mother in law is waaaay to nosey. She would have offered to come in and help pick out our clothes!
  28. Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
    That's why I won't give my parents or in-laws keys to my house! With our two year old, it's hard enough to find time for "it" at all, let along worrying about those that could walk in on us.