WACKY'S CLASS

Baby-Ko and I go to a very popular Mommy & Me class here in Los Angeles. The teacher, who’s name I won’t say, (but rhymes with “WACKY”), is known around town and apparently a spot in Wacky’s Class is so coveted, you have to get on the list the minute you conceive. I literally had to sign up for it when I was 10 weeks pregnant and that’s when I realized that we lived in the most competitive town there is. Baby-Ko hadn’t even developed arm buds yet and already he was on “a waiting list” for the September babies’ class. However, we were told that we’d most likely get in because some of the other babies (on the list) might end up being born in August or October. Fortunately, Baby-Ko was born right on time and some other baby was born early (sorry, sucka) and we were in.

Women flock to Wacky’s class and many feel that Wacky’s word is the gospel. She definitely offers some valuable information and does wonderful interactive games and songs with the babies. I always look forward to class and I would say 99% of the time I agree and appreciate her opinions and advice. But there are days like last week, for instance, when I asked her what she suggests I say to strange random children who approach Baby-Ko and want to touch his face or take his pacifier, that I question her opinion. Her advice: “Put a mosquito netting over his stroller. That way no one can touch him.” Um, yeaaaaah. Considering we A) don’t live in the tropics and B) Michael Jackson does that to HIS kids, I think I will have to come up with a different way of addressing this issue….

ANYWAY, at the top of every class, Wacky gives a lecture on a different topics pertaining to the babies and the stage they’re in. Topics range from Sleeping/Eating to choosing Nursery Schools (a titillating, fear inducing, 3-week lecture…) to Poop (yes. Poop. Apparently it’s a bigger deal than I thought). Ironically, last week, as I surveyed the room, taking note of all the things the babies were doing that Baby-Ko wasn’t, Wacky announced that we were going to be talking about Development.

First of all, I know that I shouldn’t compare Baby-Ko to other babies and that they all develop at different rates, blah blah blah. But come on, you put 15 babies, all born in the same month, in one room, you are going to notice if one of the babies is practically walking and yours is still on its back admiring the lights. Okay, fine, Baby-Ko is somewhere in between that but I have to say that I generally find myself feeling bad about the fact that Baby-Ko leaves his “bag o’ tricks” at home. Seriously… Like all week long he’ll babble and coo, roll both ways, sit up on his own… And then we get to class and he’s all fuss and frankly, no fun. There I said it.

I’m not a horrible stage mom in the making, I promise, sometimes I just want to feel and know that Baby-Ko is where he needs to be, doing the things he needs to do despite his Grandparents saying that he’s the most brilliant and gorgeous child that ever was. And, yes, according to the list of “Hallmark Developmental Milestones” that Wacky gave us, Baby-Ko is right on target. But I have to say that I’m secretly happy that Wacky cancelled class tomorrow and all the mommies have made arrangements to meet at the outdoor mall with the babies. That’ll give me an extra week to work on his sitting up skills….