Jonah
Oh, hello there. Hi. Hey. What’s up. Remember me? GOOD. I know…. been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’m well overdue for a story about Jonah and his questions or my unshaven legs (though I must say, shockingly, they’re actually quite smooth these days. Jonah on the other hand… his questions are still incessant).
Anyway… What exactly have I been doing that has taken me away from all things perfectly disheveled? I don’t entirely know. But I know I’ve been BUSY. I’ve got a pile of mail, a slew of phone calls to returns, an inbox of of unread emails, and a dozen shows that are on the brink ...Read More
When I first found out I was pregnant and due in September of 2007, I really never considered the implications that giving birth to a child with a late summer birthday would have other than how miserable I thought I’d be at 900 pounds and pregnant during Los Angeles heat waves. As a September baby myself, I pretty much just patted myself on the back for birthing another Virgo and for getting myself (and my unborn child) into the city’s most acclaimed mommy and me class for “September babies” at 10 weeks pregnant. That’s all I really needed to think about…. Making sure he was in a class (at ...Read More
If you’ve read my “About Me” section, then you know I was quite the ham when I was a little girl. From imaginary friends to belting Dionne Warwick love songs, I loved to perform and play pretend any chance I got. I was always pretty great with impressions and (as the winner for Best Sense of Humor in 8th grade) loved making people laugh. Still do. SO, I suppose it should come as no surprise that Jonah has developed his own shtick and loves nothing more than to make people laugh. Lately, if he’s not quieting down the room to tell a knock-knock joke, then he’s doing (unsolicited) imitations. And ...Read More
“Mommy, we are out of toilet paper,” my 4 year old son says as he opens the cabinet to get another roll. “Time for me to fix it,” he says as he takes the old cardboard out. (This is probably his second most favorite thing in the world to do other than opening hotel rooms with “magic cards.”)
“Before you put a new roll in, would you please pull up your pants, and close the toilet lid?”
“But–“
“Please.”
“Ok, fine.”
“Thank you,” I say finishing my makeup. As I watch him carefully insert the new roll of toilet paper, I silently congratulate myself for having (raising) a son who is happy to help with ...Read More
As I’ve mentioned many times before, once a month I attend “mommy school” with a bunch of my friends. We head to the Westside to seek the advice and guidance of the renowned Betsy Brown Braun. Each month we focus on various issues that have arisen for our 4 year olds (everyone in the class has children within a few months apart- so we’re all on the same “fucking fours,” page, as Betsy calls it). Anyway, a month or two ago, I expressed to Betsy that I was having a tough time containing Jonah’s energy– that more often than not, he is wild. She suggested that we set ...Read More
Is it safe to assume, that only in Los Angeles, a 4 year old comes home from (private) preschool and says that we need to build a meditation garden? Or does this kind of thing happen everywhere???
Yesterday afternoon, I asked my son what his favorite part of his school day was:
“Meditating.”
“Huh?”
“Meditation. We med-dit-tationed.“
“You meditated???”
“Yes, in the med-dit-tation garden. All of the kids in the class. We all med-dit-tated.”
“That’s nice. Why?”
“Because it calms you down. If you get angry. You can go to med-dit-tation.”
“Ah, I see.”
First of all, how lovely that his school has a meditation garden. Second of all, his school has a meditation garden. Hilarious! (If he told me ...Read More
… for family. The traditions new and old, the questions that my mom asks repeatedly (still), the goodbyes that take forever (even though we’ll see each other tomorrow). It means I have family. It means I have support.
… for my health. The extra stuff around the middle, the puffy eyes in the morning (and at night), the muscle cramps and aches after a hard workout (or bad night of sleep). It means I have health. It means my body works.
… for my home. The loud and unfriendly neighbors, the (always dirty looking) tile that I would not have chosen, the clutter that waxes and wanes, ebbs and flows ...Read More
Without getting into a diatribe about the plight of the working mom and how no one will ever understand our woes and Debbie Downer cries of “waaaaaah waaaaaaah,” I would like to say simply: it’s not easy. Especially when your son attends a school where the majority of moms don’t work, or at least, are so involved in the minutia of the school it appears as if they don’t work/ need/want to work and the joys of planning a bake sale or book fair pales in comparison graduating from Yale Law. This is not to say that those women, some of my favorite, sweetest and dearest friends, to be exact, ...Read More

