My son asks a lot of questions. Always has. And while his curiosity and his need to know the details and inner workings of everything inside and out is inspiring and infectious (and entirely genetic), there are days, that I. Just. Can’t. Take. The. Questions. Especially when I have no answers… Or I do, but they don’t even make sense.

For instance, I think a long time ago Jonah saw a video of Lady Gaga performing and then maybe Usher too, and they both were on stage and coming out of smoke. Okay, fine. Theatrics. Fantastic. BUT, now whenever J hears a song playing, he always asks: “Where does this singer come out of on the stage mommy? Does he come out of smoke?”
Sometimes, depending on who is singing, (like Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, Rihanna, etc) I say, “Yes, they came out of smoke” (because, let’s face it. These names are synonymous with Dry Ice). His next question after that is always, “Is it hot?” I explain to him that it’s not the hot kind of smoke. It’s the cool kind. And with the lights, it looks super smoky and hot (literally and figuratively).
But when it’s another singer, like his favorite Dean Martin (oh, ’tis true) and he asks me if he comes out of smoke during “Mambo Italiano,” I feel like I can’t lie. I usually just say, “No, he didn’t come out of smoke. He just walked out… from back stage….” Which then leads to a whole slew of questions about curtains and what happens when they go up, and when they go down and how does “Deem Marden” get off the stage….
I know the whole thing sounds wacky and complicated, but what am I to do? He’s asking me very detailed questions about the strangest thing, and if you think you can explain to a 4 year old how the backstage at Staples Center works and what a Stage Manager does, then I will happily allow you to come over and diagram this shit out for him.
But I digress….
So this particular topic comes up a lot and it’s one of those questions that my brain goes dead and no matter what answer I give him, it doesn’t satiate him. He can’t let it go. If I could only understand what it is that he’s really trying to understand then I think he’d move on to another odd/quirky curiosity. OR, maybe I just need to come up with more convincing answers…
Case in point: The other day…. We were in the car listening to “Give Me Everything Tonight…” You know…Pitbull, Ne-Yo, Afrojack’s hit. Right….

SONG: Me not working hard?Yea right picture that with a kodak

And better yet, go to times squareTake a picture of me with a kodak…

Jonah: What’s Times Square?

Me: An area in New York with lots of buildings and television screens. It’s really cool.

Jonah: How cool?

Me: Like one of the coolest places in the world.

Jonah: Do they have casinos?

Me: Nope. No casinos.

SONG: Excuse me… But I might drink a little bit more than I should tonight…And I might take you home with me if I could tonight…

Jonah: Why is he going to drink more tonight?

Me: He’s super thirsty. From dancing at the club.

Jonah: What club?

Me: This club.

Jonah: WHAT club????

Me: THIS club. This club that he’s singing about. People go there to dance.

Jonah: Can we go there to dance?

Me: It’s for adults.

Jonah: How old?

Me: You have to be 21.

Jonah: How about 22?

Me: Even better.

Jonah: Mommy, why is he going to take “a baby” home from the club tonight?

Me: Oh, the baby’s mommy couldn’t drive. So he’s helping.

See… there are some questions I have the answers to. The other stuff… It’s a little, well… smokey.

Speaking of questions… Join me on Thursday, Sept. 1st at 7am PST/ 10am EST as I’ll be a guest on Living the Dream Radio with Nina Frye. I’m so excited for this opportunity. Please feel free to call in (877) 864-4869, or chat with us live (see link below), ask me questions about my blog, my life, my terrible parenting strategies … AND tell the world how much you love my blog. Kay? Kay. Thanks. 😉


FILED UNDER: A Little Life

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  1. Tuesday, August 30th, 2011
    I'll be laughing about it all night:
    Jonah: Mommy, why is he going to take "a baby" home from the club tonight?
    Me: Oh, the baby's mommy couldn't drive. So he's helping.
  2. Wednesday, August 31st, 2011
    Oh I know this so well! Sometimes I'll just say, "I don't really know." But then he'll ask, "Why don't you know"... because Mommy doesn't know everything... "Why don't you know everything?"...
  3. Anonymous
    Wednesday, August 31st, 2011
    Why are you letting your 4 year old listen to that kind of music? You are exposing him to inappropriate lyrics to start with.
  4. Wednesday, August 31st, 2011
    I love when they ask me questions that are basically random words strung together, like : why did the snowman carrot stick with the rabbit?

    WTF? I don't even know where to begin answering those types. As for all the otehrs, at some point they basically get told to stop asking me questions. mommy needs quiet time alot, lol