Aloha! We just got back from a beautiful week in Maui for Dirty Uncle P and Auntie J’s wedding. It was awesome. The wedding, the weather, the family and friends…. it was a blast. I can’t say that I am coming back relaxed, but I definitely am coming back exhausted which is a sign that I had a great time…

So as you know by now, I hate birds. But now that Baby-Ko can actually say the word “Bird” (well, it sounds more like “burr”),  I feel like I have to stifle my desire to scream and run when those nasty little creatures fly by or land near me. When I was in college, I baby sat for a little boy and every afternoon, I would take him to this playground which was constantly bombarded by pigeons. Panicked, I would shoo away the birds and mutter something probably very inappropriate for a 3 year old to hear under my breath. One day, the birds started to hover near his stroller and on cue, Z said “Go ‘way birdies. I don’t wike you.” Uh oh. I said, “No, you can like birds. You like birds. IIIII don’t like birds.” “No!” He said, “I don’t wike birds. Go ‘way!” And that was that. I created a monster.
Determined not to make the same mistake with my own child (ha ha), I mustered up a lot of courage (mostly impart to the constant flow of pina coladas and other umbrella laden drinks), and endured the insane amount of bird presence at the hotel. There are birds, there are parrots, there are flamingos, there are swans. There are even penguins. Vomit. BUT, I remained so calm. We even ate breakfast at Swan Court (yes, literally, it’s a fucking court for swans. Die.), and  the “burrs” were flying around like it was a Hitchcock film. I wanted to scream and shoo them away with my napkin, but I didn’t. Instead, I pointed them out like a good mommy. I even turned a blind eye for a half a second when he threw a piece of food on the floor purposefully so the birds would come and eat it (okay, it wasn’t completely blind. I had my foot nearly up the birds beak ready to kick it the fuck away if it got any closer). The point is, the fact that Baby-Ko is using his words and identifying things and even composing sentences like “Bye-Bye Burr”, I have no choice but to chill out. 
But it’s a damn good  thing he doesn’t know how to say “Germs” and “Plane” yet. Because I don’t know just how much “chilling” I can do…
FILED UNDER: A Little Life

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