Manners Monday: Do You Have FOMO? from lisagache on Vimeo.

According to a recent NY Times article, social media can induce feelings of being alone, left out, a loser… It’s called FOMO. Fear of missing out. And personally, every time I see a #hashtag for a fab event (that I haven’t been invited to), or a best/funniest/charming blogger of the world list published (that I’m not on), my FOMO sets in. Oh, and don’t get me started on the facebook status updates spewing marital bliss or tropical vacations for weeks on end. One word: FOMO! Well, Lisa Gache, my partner in all things manners, and I got to chatting about this syndrome and how it relates to manners…

Do you have FOMO? Are you mindful of what you post so as to protect other’s feelings?

Here are Lisa’s tips:

Don’t rub it in. If something wonderful happens that you want to share, at least have the decency and sensitivity to announce it in a slightly self-deprecating manner. This might help to make the bitter and jealousy pill (another person might be feeling) easier to swallow.

Keep it short and sweet. Do not write a dissertation. A few simple brief sentences about what is going on will suffice. No one needs to hear every last piece of minutia. Save your most intimate details for those face-to-face conversations with your nearest and dearest.

Word to the wise. On the flipside, if you are constantly consumed with what everyone else is doing, you can’t possibly enjoy your life. Do yourself a favor. Shut off your phones, computers and any other technological devices that connect you to the world and reconnect with the most important person there is, YOU!

Create a new destiny. Rather than letting FOMO control you, your time would be much better spent creating a new and exciting future that makes you happy and that you can control. Make a conscious choice to become interesting, find a passion, start a new hobby, travel, get cultured, the list is limitless.

Give someone a fighting chance. The incessant checking of email, texts, Facebook updates and tweets is enough to drive anyone crazy. These tools only serve to validate the FOMO hysteria. Don’t be a slave to them. Instead be present to your relationships and give those you interact with in person your undivided attention. Trust me, they will thank you for it.


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  1. Monday, April 18th, 2011
    I hadn't heard the term FOMO before but the concept is so true. I hadn't experienced it until recently when I entered the land of Twitter. Talk about feeling like the kid sitting all alone at the lunch table watching the popular kids at the cool kids' table...
  2. Tuesday, April 19th, 2011
    This is a new term to me, but I definitely understand. I have had to set time periods of the day for reading and commenting on blogs, checking FB and twitter, etc. It can very easily consume you....espeically if you are trying to grow a blog or other "business" via social media.

    I have a love/hate relationship with my iphone and computer these days, especially when I feel like I'm choosing to read someone blog or twitter rather than really listening or helping one of my kids.

    I'm not sure I've thought much about manners on social media, other than just generally not being a bitch. :) These were definitely good tips.

    Thanks for sharing!
  3. Thursday, April 21st, 2011
    Uh OH, I've got a serious case of FOMO too.It probably has something to do with Not being on any list too.Even if I get nominated, I NEVER win which makes me feel like an even bigger loser:)LOL I do need to unplug though..for real. I will start tomorrow.I'm unplugging for earth day and hopefully being present in my reality will alleviate the FOMO.Anything has to be better than this week was for me online:)LOL
  4. Thursday, April 21st, 2011
    FOMO is news to me, but I totally have it. I'm always upset when I see someone has replied to other people and not me, or I see someone with like 100 comments on their blogs and I can't get 10. It's very immature, I know.