Genetics. Sometimes it works in your favor. Sometimes it does not.

My legs: A positive result of strong genes and good gams on both sides.
My nose: A fluke.
My boobs: Well. My boobs….
When I started this blog, (and it had a different name), I shared the story about how at an early age, I saw my Great Grandmother getting dressed and putting on a bra (a “brassiere” she called it) over some sort of medieval looking Spanx getup (It was the late 70’s… which meant her undergarments were from the late ’50’s). Long story short, I remember watching her with wonderment– How is it possible for boobs to fall that low? Were they ALWAYS like that? Will she trip over them?
30 years later, I’ve figured out the answers to those questions, and frankly, I’m not so happy about the “knowing” part. Lacking in size, my boobs are not. But lacking in all things Sophia Vergara, they most certainly are. Though my boobs have never been a deterrent on the boy front (in fact, I was felt up 2 years before I even had my first kiss), it’s an area that I’ve always been self conscious of….
Oh, and breastfeeding a baby who wiggled and squirmed like an Octopus getting electrocuted, did not help.
Anyway, this is all coming up because of a lovely little exchange I had with my 3 year old this morning. Amidst a lovely lego fort building session, Jonah leaned in to give me a hug.
J: “Mommy, why are your boobies so weeeeird.”
Me: “Huh?! My boobies are weird?!”
J: “Yeah. They’re just … (wiggling his body), so WOBBLY and like… (He lays back with his mouth gaped open like a corpse)… THAT.”
Before I let my mind start racing with all the things that “That” could mean, I nod, say “thank you” for his observation, and knock over his fucking fort. NO. I’m kidding. He knocked it over. And that was that.
What I’m getting at here, is that I was obviously NOT NAKED during our little boobie extravaganza, so a) why did he think about this and b) are my boobs, covered by pajamas, seriously that “weird???”
Have your kids ever commented on your body? How do you respond?
FILED UNDER: A Little Life

Leave a Comment


  1. Thursday, February 10th, 2011
    Both of my kids have commented about my, um, muffin top. I told them it was their fault...and that was that.
  2. Thursday, February 10th, 2011
    jackson asked me about my pubic hair the other day... i told him it was grass.

    i dunno...
  3. Thursday, February 10th, 2011
    Perhaps this is a bit TMI since we don't really know each other...my 3yr old son recently asked when my penis fell off and was his going to do that too? I would like to say that this made me self conscious but all I really thought was: "why the hell can't I pee by myself?"
  4. Thursday, February 10th, 2011
    Well,you know those 3 year olds are notorious for saying whatever the hell comes into their tiny brains.Gabs has asked me.."Mommy, why's your tummy so lumpy" ( thanks babe, I needed that gentle reminder to work out) "Mommy, why are your boobies down here...they should be up here!" ( NO SHIT Sherlock..blame yourself!) "Mommy,move your big butt!I can;t see" (Apparently, my ass is big enough to block the entire viewing range of the entire living room..its a gift, what can I say). You are better than me..I would have knocked his fort over:)LOL Gabs may have been told that Chuckee Cheese was too ill for us to visit on the day that she made mention of my swinging low breastage!Jeez, I gotta get these girls restored to their former glory.They were magnificent. Now, not so much!LOL
  5. Thursday, February 10th, 2011
    My children have told me my tummy is "strange." Which it absolutely IS ever since I carried twins to term.
  6. Thursday, February 10th, 2011
    My kids have some great ones.
    But the comments seem to come when I'm at my most confident.
    Have you seen that cellulite commercial where the kid runs his car on his mom leg and makes sounds like the car is running on rough terrain? Had that one done?

    Or my favourite is waking up to my daughter playing with my stomach and saying it's like play dough.

    joys of a child's honesty!
  7. Friday, February 11th, 2011
    YES! I love that I heard this story in person. So happy to have a new blog friend AND someone at dinner who can talk blogger v wordpress. Amazing. And I thought your tits looked fabulous.