Considering I think farts are the funniest things in the world, and would be happy to share my own bowel history and issues with anyone willing to listen, I suppose it should come as no surprise that my son may have a genetic predisposition to an excitement and interest in “potty talk.”
Pretty much every other word these days is “Poop.” I’m not kidding you, he weaves it into every story, every thought, every answer, and every scenario.
Me: “Jonah, would you like eggs or oatmeal for breakfast?”
J: “Um, I would like… Eggies…. aaaaaaand poop!”
Me: (Lights out. Story time). “Would you like to hear the story about William climbing the tree or William going to the moon?”
J: “Um, I would like to heaaaaaar…. The story about William, taking a big, big poop.”
Me: (At park). “Let’s put more sand on the castle.”
J: “No, let’s take a poop on it.”
Me: “Jonah, please pick up your lunch box. It’s time to leave.”
J: “Okay! I’m ready to poop!”
Me: “Please do not bang the broom against cabinet.”
J: “Oh, ok. Poop.”
Here’s the thing though, this might entirely be my fault. Frankly there are times, my brain is so fried, and he asks me a question or demands something, and the only thing that comes to mind is one word: POOP!
J: “Mommy, why do snakes shed their skin?”
Me: “Um, um, because they need to get rid of skin in order to….. (pause. I got nothin‘.) um, um… Poop.” (WHAT?!)
J: “Mommy, I NEED that toy!!!”
Me: “I need that poop.” (REALLY?!)
And it probably didn’t help that a few weeks ago, he put on his superhero cape that Mimi made him and said, “Look Mommy, I’m a Super Hero!” and I said, “You’re my Pooper Hero!” to which he fell on the floor laughing and asked me to say it fourteen times in a row. (Doesn’t being the funniest mom count for something?)
Certainly the time Auntie Alli made up the “get the poop out song” during a week long stand off with constipation (his, not mine) didn’t make matters better either. To this day, we sometimes sing that song for no good reason. It really is quite catchy.
But I promise– I’ve tried to curb the poop talk and make it clear that “this is not appropriate conversation for the dinner table/ library/ playdate/ Yom Kippur, etc.” Please. You know what Jonah’s response was today on a play date, as he was shouting “poop” like like had Touret’s???
Me: “Jonah, enough of the poop talk. Please choose other words.”
J: “Okay. (beat) PEE!!!”
SO, tell me, Is this normal? How do I stop the madness? Do I ignore? Do I punish? I need help!
Jonah’s mom aka sh*t for brains.