Look, I know the statistics. I know how bad the SUN is for me and how I can get cancer and age at warp speed. I get it. I know. I use moisturizer and foundation with SPF in it every day and generally try to stay out of the sun as much as possible, blah blah blah…

HOWEVER, I spent the entire summer of 2007 pregnant and out of the sun. THEN, I had a baby and it was winter and suddenly it’s now spring. And guess what, Mommy is going to MAUI in exactly ONE WEEK and her skin is so translucent, that no amount of Jergens Natural Glow will ever help. SO, I have given in and decided to fake it… That’s right. FAKE IT. Old school style. In a bed. Blue lights. Goggles over my eyes. Towel across my boobs.

T-Ko couldn’t believe that I was willing to spend 39 bucks on this, and frankly, neither could I, but drastic times call for drastic measures, my friends. Please, I was tempted to spend an additional $8 on some lotion that you put on beforehand that “like, oh my god, totally guarantees more color,” according to the tanning “technician.” But I didn’t buy it. I took my chances and fortunately, walked out with more color than I had before…

Now if I could just find a bikini to help me fake a flat stomach, I’d be GOLDEN.


P.S. Remember that notice I got in the mail from my loan company telling me I was $50.88 away from financial freedom? WELL, I just got ANOTHER notice saying that the account has been paid in full. I guess I don’t need to send them that final payment afterall…. Looks like Mommy is takin’ that $50 bucks and gettin’ herself another coat of tan… Yippee!

FILED UNDER: A Little Life

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