07.16.08
2

4 days down. 26 more to go. 

Yesterday for lunch I had a bowl of soup and four, I repeat FOUR (low sodium) wheat thins. Today for lunch I had a whole wheat english muffin with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, and 1 TEASPOON of honey. For a snack, I got an apple and swift kick in the vag. 
I think I’ve been punked.
Look, I promise not to only write about this diet for the next twenty-six-starvation-filled-days. But tonight, as I checked the assigned menu once, then twice, then went BACK to the original email of instructions to see if there was a dessert or even a piece of fucking fruit that the “Diet Guru” perhaps FORGOT to include on my menu, I realized that writing about anything other than food was not going to happen.  
Although, I suppose I could write about this afternoon when my CELL PHONE fell out of my  jeans back pocket and RIGHT into the TOILET. Of course, that’s not a very appetizing topic either… 
FILED UNDER: A Little Life
TELL THE WORLD!

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Comments

  1. Alli B.
    Sunday, July 20th, 2008
    oy why are you putting yourself through such hell! You can't go to bed hungry!
  2. Thursday, March 20th, 2025
    Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!